Disclosure Issues in Parents Using Third Party Reproduction

By Anne-Marie O'Brien, MSN, NP

I am a Nurse Practitioner at GIVF and for four years had the pleasure of working very closely with our patients who had made the decision to use the assistance of third party donation to create their family. For these couples one of their biggest concerns was the issue of whether or not to disclose to their future child. As a member of the health care team, I was often asked for my opinion. I felt it was my role to guide them in the decision-making process rather than give them a hard and fast answer. It was difficult to watch and listen to these patients worry about their future relationship with their child and fear that they would make a mistake. I wanted to help them realize that their choice to become parents was one of the noblest endeavors that they would undertake in their life and that they would find the right answers for their family.

This is why I was especially pleased to read a recent article by Shehab et al. in the January 2008 issue of Fertility & Sterility entitled, "How parents whose children have been conceived with donor gametes make their disclosure decision: contexts, influences, and couple dynamics". The researchers conducted in-depth interviews with 141 couples. According to the authors, the couples in the study found individualized counseling to be helpful, especially "when delivered without judgment or directive personal opinion". For these couples; however, peer support was found to be the most valuable. The authors observe that it is perhaps because this type of support not only reduces the sense of stigma and isolation these couples often feel, but also provides them with a forum to share and learn from others in their same life situation. The study’s findings provide helpful insight to patients as well as health care providers, and I would highly recommend this article to anyone involved in the third party donation process.