Advice to Husband and Partners: “How Can I Help?”
By Kathleen
How can a spouse or partner help someone going through an IVF cycle? IVF can be an incredible roller coaster ride of emotions, so be prepared for frequent ups and downs. It is important to keep the lines of communication open and let the patient know you are in this together. Here are some tips on how you can help:
Offer to take over some of the responsibilities that your spouse or partner usually has, such as paying the bills, setting up doctor appointments, or working with your insurance company.
If the patient would like help, become an expert at giving injections. With practice you can administer injections quickly and painlessly. A little humor and sensitivity go a long way in this department.
Offer to go to some of the monitoring appointments. It is nice to have company for those early morning activities. Go out to breakfast together afterwards.
Recognize that changing hormones can result in some major mood swings. This includes high highs (’I know its going to work this time!’) to low lows (’This will never work’). Remember no matter what she says or does, she is going through all this for both of you.
Let the patient rest as much as possible. Help around the house with meals, laundry, and other housework. She especially will want some extra rest around the time of retrieval and transfer.
Send her some flowers at work “just because”. Rent a DVD that you know she wants to see. If she has a food craving, run out to the store to satisfy it. Treat her to an afternoon at the local spa.
Attend an infertility support group together to meet other couples who are going through the same experience. Some clinics sponsor their own support groups or you can check with a national infertility organization such as RESOLVE. The website is www.resolve.org.
And most important, be an active participant! It’s reassuring to talk in terms of “we” rather then “you”. Become educated about IVF and the terminology. Demonstrate that you are trying to be involved in the process. It is important to support her and comfort her. You’re committed to building your family together and your love for one another will remain strong, whether or not this IVF cycle succeeds.
How can a spouse or partner help someone going through an IVF cycle? IVF can be an incredible roller coaster ride of emotions, so be prepared for frequent ups and downs. It is important to keep the lines of communication open and let the patient know you are in this together. Here are some tips on how you can help:
Offer to take over some of the responsibilities that your spouse or partner usually has, such as paying the bills, setting up doctor appointments, or working with your insurance company.
If the patient would like help, become an expert at giving injections. With practice you can administer injections quickly and painlessly. A little humor and sensitivity go a long way in this department.
Offer to go to some of the monitoring appointments. It is nice to have company for those early morning activities. Go out to breakfast together afterwards.
Recognize that changing hormones can result in some major mood swings. This includes high highs (’I know its going to work this time!’) to low lows (’This will never work’). Remember no matter what she says or does, she is going through all this for both of you.
Let the patient rest as much as possible. Help around the house with meals, laundry, and other housework. She especially will want some extra rest around the time of retrieval and transfer.
Send her some flowers at work “just because”. Rent a DVD that you know she wants to see. If she has a food craving, run out to the store to satisfy it. Treat her to an afternoon at the local spa.
Attend an infertility support group together to meet other couples who are going through the same experience. Some clinics sponsor their own support groups or you can check with a national infertility organization such as RESOLVE. The website is www.resolve.org.
And most important, be an active participant! It’s reassuring to talk in terms of “we” rather then “you”. Become educated about IVF and the terminology. Demonstrate that you are trying to be involved in the process. It is important to support her and comfort her. You’re committed to building your family together and your love for one another will remain strong, whether or not this IVF cycle succeeds.
posted by Kathleen, Contributing Editor at
7:37 PM
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